Tatiana’s already tangled thoughts twisted even tighter. Yet with Kainel’s solid body refusing to move aside, she resigned herself and chewed on the inside of her mouth.
“I came because I wanted to see you.”
“…….”
Right. That was probably it.
Wanting to believe her sister had felt even a little of that, Tatiana repeated the same words once more. When Kainel’s incomprehensible sigh brushed against her head, she slowly lifted her face. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“…….”
His Adam’s apple rose and fell, far too close. Standing before an immovable wall with nowhere to escape, Tatiana forced a smile.
“Besides, how could I run away? I have nowhere else to go.”
“Why don’t you have anywhere to go?”
“…….”
“This is your home now.”
“Ah….”
It wasn’t a joke meant to laugh off. His bold, almost accusatory tone made her cheeks burn.
“Y, Yes. You’re right.”
“…….”
“I do have a place now.”
Muttering to herself, her nose stung. The absurdity of feeling relieved in this situation made her want to cry, leaving her flustered. Meanwhile, once Kainel had spoken, the words kept coming.
“Calling that a place to go? You’re the one who came to me first. Saying you’d marry me, telling me to clear my schedule. And now you’re making that face just because your sister showed up?”
“What kind of face am I making?”
“That one!”
Kainel, who had been simmering endlessly, suddenly twisted his expression. As expected from the noble Cartien family, it looked like he might turn away and never look at her again, making her chest ache. But what truly drove her mad were those innocent red eyes that even the owner didn’t seem to understand.
“What about me?”
“…….”
Those same innocent eyes that always drove people crazy.
Even today, he wasn’t showing them properly, making everything worse. She once thought that if she just avoided seeing those eyes, the confusion would end, but she never imagined the aftermath of not looking would be this heavy.
“What on earth is the reason? Is it your sister? Stop avoiding it and tell me properly.”
“You met my mother, didn’t you?”
“…….”
As he pressed closer, Kainel hesitated. Tatiana, who had been confused all day with no way to explain her embarrassed and upset feelings, clutched the newspaper.
“You became more famous than me.”
Right. If this man didn’t love her anyway, there was at least one comfort. She could say anything without making him dislike her more. This might be the lowest point she could reach with him.
Her voice trembled as she barely managed to lift the corners of her mouth.
“I never thought my mother would come find you herself. She shouldn’t have done that to you, and I can guess what she said….”
“So?”
“…So what?”
Unlike her, who had been agonizing over how to face this man since finding the newspaper at the stand, Kainel was far too calm. Feeling drained, Tatiana raised her voice.
“You saw it too, what kind of person my mother is.”
“So you’re staring at people like the world just ended?”
“…….”
“I met her, so why are you the one angry?”
“Ah….”
It seemed their understanding of ‘so’ was completely different. Tatiana looked up at Kainel, who frowned with thick eyebrows as if he couldn’t understand at all. Facing his red eyes in the dark softened his impatience, but she still bit her lip hard as her nose stung.
“I’m not angry, I’m worried. If you get upset and refuse to marry me—”
“I’ll do it. Marriage.”
“…….”
“I will.”
“…I see.”
She almost burst out laughing. What on earth had she been agonizing over? Suddenly feeling hollow, she looked at his endlessly serious face and remembered the portrait of her mother in the newspaper she had just dropped.
The lowered eyes and the polite smile hidden behind a hazy cloud of cigarette smoke. It was the extreme emptiness and anger that only appeared when things went completely against her expectations.
“Well. At least from the newspaper, it seems you answered my mother well.”
“…That was just them making things up—”
“It doesn’t matter.”
When Tatiana firmly shook her head, Kainel’s expression grew complicated. Now it seemed he was the one unsure what to say. Running a hand through his hair that carried a cool blue tint under the moonlight, Kainel furrowed his brows.
“That’s a relief then.”
“…….”
Now she couldn’t tell what had upset her or why tears had almost come. Seeing his bewildered face for the first time made her want to smile, so Tatiana pressed her lips together.
“Do you understand now? Marrying me means exactly that.”
“So?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with it?”
It was the last day she could ask unnecessary questions. Even knowing she wouldn’t return, Annesia had come all this way, yet the moment Tatiana faced Kainel, she understood why.
If she didn’t do this, the guilt would haunt her forever.
“People around us will make noise whether you want it or not. Words you never said will spread, and strangers will follow you around all day.”
“Is that all?”
“Don’t take it lightly. I’m no longer part of the Cartien family—”
“I’ve never once wished you were still part of that family.”
There was nothing more to say.
Kainel’s red eyes met hers directly. Even his quick answer felt rushed, yet she couldn’t doubt it. Only then did Tatiana notice that Kainel was wearing the same silver armor he had worn the day she came to find him.
Dust clung to every inch of his body.
Tatiana couldn’t tell what had made him rush here in such a hurry, but looking at him made it hard to keep her composure. Even without the comfort of her eldest sister’s carriage, she felt an unfamiliar urge to simply let go. The dense forest’s quiet embrace softened her voice into a whisper.
“It’s not a joke. You might end up losing something.”
“Do I look like the type who’d let that happen?”
“…No. Of course not.”
The cool scent brushing past her nose made Tatiana study him quietly. Even if she knew little about Kainel, she was certain of one thing, he would never come out on the losing end.
No need to spell out how he’d ensure that.
“Then that’s a relief.”
“…Tatiana.”
It happened in an instant. His low voice calling her name sent heat rushing up her neck. At a distance where getting any closer seemed impossible, her curled fingertips touched his hard chest.
“Never let your guard down.”
“…….”
“Who knows. Reporters might still be following us from the other side.”
When Tatiana’s haughty gaze flicked past his shoulder, Kainel instinctively started to turn his head.
If her hand hadn’t reached for his nape.
“You.”
“But I know better than anyone what to do in moments like this.”
“…What do you mean?”
Sensing the changed atmosphere between them, Kainel’s voice dropped lower. When her other hand also landed on his shoulder, heat swirled in his dark eyes. Those vivid red irises and whispering red lips filled her vision.
“That it’s irreversible. That things won’t go the way they want.”
“…And.”
“I need to show them. Clearly.”
Tatiana rose onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. Or perhaps Kainel lowered his head first. Tilting at an angle, he plunged deep into her mouth, their lips melting together with no space left between them.
“Hnn….”
“…You said to make it clear.”
He pulled her waist flush against him as she flinched. Overwhelmed by his breathing, Tatiana’s grip on his collar loosened.
Whether it was relief, instinct, or a moment’s passion, or maybe to prove something to someone, she couldn’t tell.
On the desolate forest path, their two figures tangled into one. Kainel’s lowered gaze held her with a suggestive intensity while Tatiana’s stifled moans slipped into his mouth.
“Ah….”
Dizzy enough to lose her senses, Tatiana marveled at Kainel Townsent’s honesty. Unlike any gentleman she’d known, he laid bare exactly what he wanted. At this point, anyone but a fool would understand.
“Spread your legs wider.”
Even if it wasn’t love, this man truly desired her.
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